I Would Have Picked Something Special

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
fuckysuckybrigade
natalieironside

One time I shared a post that contained (unbeknownst to me) incorrect information about how big anglerfish are and people sent me anon hate about it for years and accused me of being the center of a conspiracy to spread fish-based misinformation, I would occasionally get messages in my inbox out of the blue like "You're a terrible person for telling lies about fish and I hope you die," and I think that that more than anything else is the real Tumblr Dot Com experience

natalieironside

Anyway anglerfish are fucking huge. They're born the size of a Ford F250 and grow up to be six times taller than God.

bunnaccino

I didn’t know that polished malachite didn’t react to water and when I saw a bathroom with a bunch of malachite in it I was like Holy Shit What A Bad Idea

And I got several messages telling me I was what was wrong with both tumblr and America and I should die

Anyway I don’t talk much on this site anymore

natalieironside

Very on brand for Tumblr to think "misinformation" means "being wrong about inconsequential trivia"

Btw I saw an anglerfish on my way to work earlier and that bitch was at least 500 apples tall

dovesndecay

My best friend is an anglerfish, so I personally can confirm, at least 10,000 apples tall. 

natalieironside

Damn that's like 2,000 Hello Kitties

tanoraqui
andhumanslovedstories

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

andhumanslovedstories

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

andhumanslovedstories

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

stele3

I want you to know that I think about this post every time I eat popcorn, nuts, or other such items from my palm.

lilacblossoms
coldalbion
Terry Pratchett estate backs Jack Monroe’s idea for ‘Vimes Boots’ poverty index
Campaigner has used the idea drawn from Discworld novels to register the disproportionate effect price rises have on the lower paid
the Guardian

""The index, Monroe said, is named in honour of Pratchett’s creation Sam Vimes, who in the Discworld novel Men at Arms lays out the “Sam Vimes ‘Boots’ theory of socio-economic unfairness”.

“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money,” wrote Pratchett. “Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of okay for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles. But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.”

The Pratchett estate has authorised the use of the name, tweeting its own Pratchett quote in support of Monroe’s campaign. “Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness,” wrote the late Discworld author in Men at Arms.

Rhianna Pratchett said: “My father used his anger about inequality, classism, xenophobia and bigotry to help power the moral core of his work. One of his most famous lightning-rods for this was Commander Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch - a cynical, but likable, man who attempts to better himself whilst railing against the injustices around him. Some of which he’s had a hand in perpetrating in the past.

“Vimes’s musing on how expensive it is to be poor via the cost of boots was a razor-sharp evaluation of socio-economic unfairness. And one that’s all too pertinent today, where our most vulnerable so often bear the brunt of austerity measures and are cast adrift from protection and empathy. Whilst we don’t have Vimes any more, we do have Jack and Dad would be proud to see his work used in such a way.”

llywela13

This campaign came about because the current poverty index tends to look at mid-range luxury items, the price of which is often less affected by inflation, rather than the bottom-of-the-range necessities that the poorest in society actually rely on, and which have been massively hit by inflation.